THE WELL-MEANING FAMILY CONSTELLATION THERAPIST
I tell her I want to erase them
and I mean it
she plops a big pink quartz
on her psychodrama stage
and tells me it’s love
a much smaller green stone
and tells me it’s betrayal
an even smaller cloudy crystal
and tells me it’s fear
I see where she’s going with this
despite the wildly inaccurate proportions
I know she means well
everyone, always, means well
I think to myself
before, during and after
that I am too good at this
yes, of course, they did their best
just like I do my best
just like she’s doing her best
this is how we have agreed to heal
from the unforgivable transgressions
slowly, methodically
telling ourselves that ancestors love
and watch over us
that dead parents
were flawed but trying
I ask her to add anger
she picks up a sharp clear crystal
no bigger than her thumb
I laugh
oh, it’s much bigger than that
and it has color
out comes a burnt orange coffee mug
of substantial weight and girth
she places it upright behind the yellow wooden figure
that we have agreed is the young me
wedged between my red and blue parents
placement is everything in this game
so I direct her to move it
that’s it, I say
satisfied for the first time
in a long time,
as if our work here is done
now that I am covered
by the thick ceramic moat of anger
better than any blankie
safe, even, from the
rose quartz of love
eyeing me
from across the stage.
Bio:
Monica Anna Day is a performance poet, solo show artist and producer, and academic. She holds a BA in English and Creative Writing from Mills College, an MA in International Peace and Conflict Resolution, and is working towards her MFA in Interdisciplinary Arts and Writing at the California Institute of Integral Studies. She currently teaches at Arcadia University and resides in Glenside, PA, but is still searching for a home that feels like home.
OVUNQUE SIAMO 